Frequently Asked Questions

How do I create a profile ?

Creating and posting a profile is free and only takes a bit of time. If you're logged in now, you've probably already finished the first step. To finish the rest, login and click Your Profile in the Profile & Photos drop-down menu at the top of the screen. Click Edit next to the section you'd like to finish, make your changes and click Save when you're done.

When creating your profile, remember that the essay screen will time out after seven minutes, so save often to make sure you don't lose everything. You can also write your essays ahead of time and paste them into your profile. Just be sure to save each essay after you paste it.

Helpful hints:
• Your profile is the first impression you make, so put your best foot forward.
• Be honest, have fun and stay positive.
Your essays give you the chance to speak directly to members and maybe even the person of your dreams. Essays should offer insight into your lifestyle and what is most important to you in a relationship. They should also reveal what makes you unique. Don't worry about saying too much. The more you write and the more you give specific examples, the more likely it is that someone out there will read your profile and say, "Wow! Me, too."

Why is it so important to fill out a complete profile?

Your profile lets people know that you are single and available!

Plus, it lets them know that you are interesting and worth writing to. If someone looks at your profile and there's not much there, why would they bother?

This is not the time for brevity, folks. More is more. Make yourself interesting to others and you will get a great response on the site. If you post photos too, you'll get even more people writing to you. The ball's in your court.

How confidential is my profile?

Your email address and password are kept completely confidential. Members can only see your essays, photos and other personality details that you post in your profile.

Why am I not getting very many responses from other members?

If you're not getting many responses, it might be a good time to spice up your profile and get personal with your emails. Here are a few suggestions to get you started, and you can also call our Customer Care team toll-free any time for further advice:

Post photos in your profile. People like to talk to people they can see, so the more photos you have up, the more comfortable people will be emailing to you. In fact, most members only search for and write to people with photos, and members with photos get contacted more frequently than members without.

Your photos should show more than just what you look like -- they should communicate your personality and the things that you love about your life! Ideally, a life that someone would want to be a part of.

What should you show? Think fun, happy, warm, interesting, smiles... and think about the things that you love about your life (skiing, painting, traveling, playing with your dog, etc.). The first photo should be a headshot and the others can be more creative. Just remember to make them clear, recent and in focus!

Make your essays more descriptive. Snappy essays are what it takes for you to stand out in the dating crowd and, more importantly, attract the people who are right for you.

The key to writing great essays? It's all in the details... in giving specific examples. No one wants to see boring lists of adjectives (nice, smart, funny, successful, attractive). They want specific examples of the things that make you different, interesting and fun to be with. Write like you talk. Pretend you're hanging out with your best friends, telling them exactly what's on your mind.

Take a look at our list of Things To Write About if you get really stuck.

Write great personal introductory emails. Although "Hey, you look cute, check out my profile," may sound short and sweet, in fact, it really is a canned intro that is easily dismissed. When contacting other members, remember to ask yourself, "Why am I writing to this person?" and then tell him/her. Flattery, writing about things you have in common, and a sense of humor will get you everywhere.

Take a look at our 5 Step Email Guide for tips on How To Write Your First Email.

Check your personal Inbox on the site. There may be messages waiting there that you're not aware of. If you have "spam guard" on your personal email, our notices many not be reaching you. You can set your personal email to recognize email from us so you won't miss future notices. See the Never Miss Email section in Member Services for instructions and check with your Internet Service Provider (ISP) if you have additional questions.

How do I change my username, email address or password?

You can change your, email address or password on your profile page.
Click Your Profile in the Profile & Photos drop-down menu
Click Edit next to your username
Click either Change Email or Change Password.

When someone sends me a message, where does it go and how do I respond?
Once you've created your own profile, other members can start contacting you. We'll let you know that you have a new message by sending a notification to your personal email address. To read the message, simply login to the site and go to your Inbox in the Messages drop-down menu. If you decide to write back, click Reply, write your own message and send away.
Your message will go straight into the member's Inbox, and we'll notify them that it's there.
All communications with other members stay onsite so that you never have to give out any personal information until you feel completely ready. Then when you are, you can exchange phone numbers and even meet in person.